what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
