she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
