I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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