Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
