we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
