So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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