Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
