i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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