Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
