just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
