Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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