If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
