Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
