It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize