So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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