These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
