I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
