dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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