If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
