she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
