How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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