Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
