chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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