It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
