i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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