OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
