Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
