would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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