Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
