doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's like iHOP with fire
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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