you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
