There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He shit in the fireplace
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
