I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
