I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
