Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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