I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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