so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
