There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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