That's intense
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
