Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
