hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
