Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My vagina just recognized that song.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
