Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
