i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
