thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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