he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Princesses don't give blow jobs
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
