We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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