i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
