we have officially lost it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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