You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
