I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
